Terms of Service

Last updated: August 5, 2026

The short version: you buy a hat, we ship it, and because our hats are custom-decorated, all sales are final — though we always replace or refund anything that arrives damaged, defective or wrong. Full detail is in our Returns & Refunds policy. The rest of this page is the same idea with more words, because that is how these pages work.

These terms apply to wittylids.us and anything you buy from it. By browsing the site or placing an order, you are agreeing to them. If you do not agree, that is completely fine — please just do not order.

1. Who You Are Buying From

Witty Lids is a small business based in Orange County, California, owned and operated by Joseph Carley. One person picks the sayings, packs the boxes, and answers the email. "We", "us" and "our" on this page all mean Witty Lids. "You" means you, the person reading this.

You can reach us, or write to us, here:

Email is the way to reach us and it is read by an actual person — see our Contact page for what to include and how quickly we reply. We are not a retail storefront, so please do not visit in person.

Everything on this site is intended for personal use by people who can legally enter into a contract where they live. If you are under 18, please have a parent or guardian place the order.

2. Orders and Prices

Adding a hat to your cart does not reserve it. An order becomes an order when your payment goes through and you get a confirmation.

Prices are in US dollars and can change at any time, but never after you have paid — the price you checked out at is the price you pay. We do our best to keep the site accurate, but if a hat is listed at an obviously wrong price or is out of stock after you order, we may cancel the order and refund you in full. We will email you if that happens.

We can also refuse or cancel an order if something looks wrong with it — a suspected fraudulent payment, a bulk order we cannot fill, that sort of thing. Again, you get your money back.

3. Payment

Checkout runs through PayPal. You can pay with a PayPal balance or a card, and either way your card number never touches our site — we never see it and we never store it. PayPal handles the payment and their own terms and privacy policy apply to that part of the transaction.

If the total shown at checkout and the total PayPal tries to charge ever disagree, the payment is stopped automatically and nothing is captured.

4. Shipping

Shipping is $2.99 flat to anywhere in the US, and free once your order reaches $45 (based on your subtotal after any coupon, before tax). We currently ship within the United States only. Rates, processing and delivery times are set out in full in our Shipping Policy.

Orders are packed and dropped off by hand, so give us a few days. Once a package is with the carrier, delivery timing is up to them — we cannot control weather, holidays or a truck that decides your street does not exist. If something goes missing or arrives damaged, email us and we will make it right.

Risk of loss passes to you on delivery. If a package is confirmed delivered and then disappears off your porch, that one is genuinely out of our hands, but write to us anyway and we will see what we can do.

5. Returns, Refunds and the Conversation Guarantee

Our hats are custom-decorated novelty headwear that we cannot restock or resell once shipped, so all sales are final. We do not accept returns or exchanges for change of mind, for ordering the wrong design, colour or hat type, or for fit and sizing.

That never covers our own mistakes. If a hat arrives damaged or defective, if we send you the wrong item, or if your order never arrives, you get a free replacement or a full refund — your choice — when you tell us within 30 days of delivery. You never pay return shipping.

Separately, and as a matter of goodwill rather than policy, we offer the 30-Day Conversation Guarantee: wear your hat for 30 days, and if it never starts a conversation with a stranger, email us and we will refund you and you keep the hat. It is limited to one refund per customer, is intended for people who actually wore the hat, applies only to hats bought directly from this site, and we may change or withdraw it at any time. It is not a return policy and does not affect your rights above.

The full detail — how to report a problem, what we do and how long it takes — is in our Returns & Refunds policy, which forms part of these terms.

6. What the Hats Actually Are

They are novelty hats with jokes on them. They are not safety equipment, not sun protection you should rely on, and not a substitute for a helmet, ever.

Colors on a screen are never a perfect match for thread and fabric, and embroidery has small natural variations from hat to hat. That is normal, not a defect.

The sayings are meant to make people laugh or to help like-minded people find each other. Some are cheeky. Where and when you wear one is your call — we cannot promise your boss, your mother-in-law or airport security will find it as funny as you do.

7. Our Designs and Content

The hat designs, sayings, artwork, photos, logo and site copy are ours. You are welcome to wear the hat, photograph it, post it, and tag us — that is the whole point.

What you may not do is copy our designs onto your own merchandise, resell our hats as your own brand, or scrape the site to reproduce it elsewhere. If you want to collaborate or carry our hats somewhere, just ask. We are friendly.

8. Using the Site

Please do not attempt to break, overload or gain unauthorized access to the site, interfere with anyone else's use of it, or use it for anything unlawful. Ordinary browsing and ordinary shopping are all we are asking for.

9. Other People's Services

This site relies on services we do not run — PayPal for payments, Google Analytics and the Meta pixel for measurement, our shipping carrier for delivery, and links out to places like Instagram. Their terms and privacy policies apply when you use them. Our Privacy Policy explains what data those services see.

10. The Legal Bit

The site and the hats are provided as they are. We stand behind our products and the guarantee above is a real promise, but beyond that we are not making warranties of any kind, express or implied, including implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose, to the fullest extent the law allows.

To the fullest extent permitted by law, our total liability to you for anything connected to your order or this site is limited to the amount you actually paid for the order in question. We are not liable for indirect or consequential losses — lost profits, lost data, or missed opportunities.

Some places do not allow these kinds of limits. If you live somewhere that does not, these limits do not apply to you and you keep whatever rights your local law gives you. Nothing here takes away consumer rights you cannot legally sign away.

11. Changes to These Terms

We may update this page as the business changes. The version live at the moment you place an order is the one that governs that order, so the date at the top is the part that matters.

12. Talk to Us

Questions, complaints, or a hat that arrived wrong — one email to [email protected] reaches an actual human, usually from an airport gate. We would much rather sort something out by email than have you read this page again.